Tuesday, September 8, 2015

New Study Found that Using Smartphone on the Toilet May Make it Tough to "Go"

A new study out this week from the Institute of Bowel Movement Research shows that there may be a link between using your smartphone in the restroom and having difficulty actually "going."  It seems that individuals who spend more than 6 hours per week or less than 1 hour per week tend to have less-healthy or unhealthy movements:

An ideal spot to be on the Bristol Stool Chart is a 3, 4, or 5.  Those outside of that range may find it more difficult in one way or another.

Speculation is that the lower end of the scale represents over-usage of smartphones and smartphone apps, leading to stool spending longer in the bowels.  This can lead to low-rated stool.  The opposite also appears to be true.  However, the higher-rated stool is most likely due to illness, often being the cause of the fewer hours on average being spent on the phone.

Researchers say that this should not dissuade people from using their phones in the restroom.  As a matter of fact, individuals are encouraged to play mind-strengthening games, like word crosses or trivia.  Mental stimulation has a calming effect on the colon.  Just keep it to about 15-20 minutes per sitting.

Also, don't attempt any apps that are too challenging.  There is a strong correlation between mental constipation and physical constipation.  These results are only in the beginning phases of research.  But to be safe, stick with medium to mind-numbing apps.

**Please note that this article is not to be taken seriously.  It is intended only as good humor.  If you feel you actually do have a gastrointestinal medical condition, seek real medical help.  Also, there is no such thing as the Institute of Bowel Movement Research.  Any possible similarity in the name is strictly coincidental.**